Kid Connections

Too busy to blog...

Apologies to those who check out my blog.  I haven't blogged for aaaaages and am finding the odd visit to facebook is easier to keep in touch with folk.  It's been a busy and exciting few months, both in terms of family and work.  Our wonderful brood are all busy enjoying summer holidays and I'm trying to decide when to have time off.  No hols booked but trusting that we might have a break away together at some point before schools go back.

Lots of stuff happening at church... a few weeks ago we had an opportunity for people to respond in baptism and, spontaneously, three children responded.  It was probably one of the most poignant moments for me in my 12 years of church ministry.  My mind was filled with many thoughts as each of these youngsters came forward to be baptised.  The only spare clothes we had was the football team's strip -about 3 times the size of each child, so they looked like funky baptismal gowns!  It was hugely emotional for families and friends looking on and my most vivid memory is the smile of each child as each descended into the water and emerged with an even bigger smile!  I had many conversations about it over the following weeks - which constantly reminds me of how we manage to hold the 'messiness' of church together as we work out our theology in practice together - children included.  I love it!!

Having lots of conversations too with fellow pastors and advocates for children about the emerging shape of children's and family ministries.  I feel that there is a lot of re-shaping happening across the Church at the moment.  It's exciting and yet frustrating for those who feel held back in their efforts to make the Gospel heard in an ever noisy, fast moving and fast changing world.  May God's peace, patience and presence bath us and refresh us so our hearts, hands and minds stay firmly fixed to the task - in His glorious strength and power!

Children and Church

 

So here it is ... the Child Friendly Church guide, which is the most wonderful resource designed to help you reflect on how you intentionally welcome and include children in your congregation!  I heartily recommend it (but I'm biased!!!) as it will provide you with much to reflect and consider about how you do church and be church with children and their families!!

As our co-disciples we have a responsibility to nurture and grow our children and to help them discover their gifts from God ... the Child Friendly Church will help you begin to explore ways in which you may do this.

The strength of this guide is that it is designed with a broad Chruch in mind.  The programme is less about ticking boxes and more about reflection in your specific context.  Where is your location? What is your church community's wider culture? How do you see the sacraments of our denomination in relation to children?  How best might you, in your Faith community, affirm children?  All these questions are asked in the context of Biblical and theological reflection.

So get your copy now and get excited about what God is doing in our work with and for children and in us as we learn from them!

Finding the Spiritual in Chaos

There's a book I stumbled upon recently called "In the Midst of Chaos: Caring for Children as Spiritual Practice", which 'reveals what it takes to find the spiritual wisdom in the messy, familial ways of living'.  I just love the title of this book and hope to find the time in my chaotic life to read it soon!!!

Sometimes parenting can be seen as dull and dreary, full of interrupted days with endless cries of 'mum can I get...', 'dad I want...', 'mum I need...', etc.  It can be hectic and for many parents the time seems to whiz by and you can be left to feel that even though you never stop you don't get very far!  I think there is something so precious, and so innately spiritual in all that chaos that if we don't take the time to notice we will miss it!  Relationality is spirituality!  Coping with all the mess, joy and struggles of life is spiritual practice.  Our children are intensely spiritual and so often we run the risk of missing that if we don't know what we're looking for. 

In those chaos filled days, stop and notice those wonderful moments ... there will be many that will touch your heart and make you smile.

Busy days ...

It's been a busy day with pleasant interludes!  It took almost 2 hours for me to drive in to Glasgow this morning!  I left home at 8.30am and hit a 6 mile tailback of traffic on the M77.  By the time I got in to town my left leg was is pain from constantly using the clutch and having to drive in 1st gear most of the way, and I had a thumping sore head.  Once I eventually got in to town and up to the west end I had a really good day - first our Thursday parent and toddler group followed by a lovely lunch with two of the mums and their darling babies, a bit of office chat, catching up with some other work and then driving back home just in time to pick up No 3 daughter from school.  I'm out tonight with two friends to see Fiddler on the Roof at the Motherwell Concert Hall & Theatre.  I'm not much of a theatre goer but I'm looking forward to it nonetheless.  Hubby is off today so has been spending time with the two little ones after a long day yesterday.

It's the school's October week next week so kids are off and I'm having some time off work to be with them.  There's lots of stuff needing to be done in the house but it's so miserable outside that I can't really be bothered!  I really want to be lying on the sofa with some nice nibbles, some decent coffee and either watching a good movie or reading one of the books I'm trying to get through just now.

I've been reading Moltmann's book In the End-The Beginning: The Life of Hope.  He shares a great deal of interesting stuff on childhood and children.  Part of the editorial review says, 'Debunking the classic images of Christian apocalyptic scenarios, the final struggle between God and Satan, Christ and the Antichrist—Armageddon—Moltmann instead shows that Christian expectation of the future has nothing to do with these but everything to do with new beginnings and a horizon of hope. Three parts explore three particular beginnings: birth (childhood and youth), rebirth (failures and defeats), and resurrection (death, judgment, afterlife).  This brief volume promises to be one of Moltmann’s most personal and compelling books.'  I'll share more if I get a chance but if you are in to theology books then it's well worth a read. 

Training and commissioning

I'm just getting a minute after a busy week and even busier weekend to write something ... not that it may be of any interest to anyone else but as a reminder to me of what a great week it's been! 

We had a children and young people's workers team training day on Saturday and it was an awesome time - reflecting, sharing, discussing, listening, praying, chatting, and eating together.  We looked again at some of the key things the bible says about children ... about being made in the image of God ... about becoming like a child ... about passing the faith on to the next generation.  Some wonderful moments of remembering what God has done in us and through us and how it is a huge responsibility and privilege to work with children and young people.  We remembered the things that bring us joy and wondered how we might improve what we do and overcome the difficulties we face in this work.  For me it was just great to spend time with these folk who give of their time and talents to this ministry and remember why God has led me down this path to care about the way children are understood and valued ... they are (by God's own design) a vibrant example of the Kingdom and what it means to be a disciple, and observing and thinking about them bring me closer to God. 

We commissioned all our volunteers who work with children and young people at the service on Sunday - a special service to recognise and honour them, as well as parents and the wider congregation in their joint role to nurture children in the faith as part of the faith community.  The volunteers received a small gift from the children as a reminder of how much they are valued and the influence they have in the lives of those they minister to.

Thursday!

Usually I try to do very little on Thursdays but I've still lots to do this week work wise and I'm trying to increase the amount of exercises I do so will hopefully get out later.  Yesterday I made a picnic for lunch and took the kids to meet hubby during his lunch break at a local park and it was so nice and very relaxing, so if the weather gets better we'll do that today again - but hubby has his lunch with him just in case.  Last night I had thought we might take our bikes to the cycle route at the park but alas the Rangers game took priority as everyone in our house wanted to watch it - I have to say it was painful to watch, particularly when they went 2 v nil down with seconds to go!! 

Yesterday morning I walked 2 miles to our local library and 2 miles back [very pleased with myself]!  It was a lovely day so it was good to be out enjoying the sunshine as well as the exercises.  I've met a lovely lady who specialises in children's books at the library and is a great storyteller.  I was looking for a good interactive story on 'anger' and it's such a good opportunity to talk about my faith and why I work with children.  I love natural everyday things that allow us to faith share.  It's about who we are ... and the fact that we can talk about story is fantastic.

So I should probably explain why I was looking for something on 'anger'.  The children at church and I have been looking at the story of Joseph and the different things that God is speaking to us about (as followers of Jesus) through the events of Joseph's life.  We are thinking this week about why Joseph got angry and will be thinking too about when Jesus got angry and cleared the temple.  There are several things that exploring this theme does, including developing emotional intelligence and cognitive knowledge, but being an avid supporter of the view that children's ministry is NOT simply to educate the brain, my aim is to help children grow spiritually (in the innate sense) and grow in faith - sharing experiences of God and how God has helped me/us when I/we've been angry, as well as worshipping and just enjoying being together.  This is important as the children I work with are mainly in the 'experiential and affiliative stages' of faith.  Sorry, more jargon - from Westerhoff's theory of faith development - so to make her blush I'll let Lynn explain from a post she did a while back as she does it so well ... particularly this: 

A child begins their faith journey on an experiential basis - if they experience the love of God from kind and caring adults who nurture them, then they will accept Jesus at that level. (so put your best child care workers in the creche!) The next stage; the affiliative stage is where a child will take on their faith because of who they are affiliated to i.e. who are their friends and what do they believe in? This leads to the searching faith period - where a child/young adult asks questions; tests us to see if what we talk about is true in our own lives; wrestles with big issues perhaps; looks for reality in what they see in the church around them. As an aside, many adults have not left this stage! The final stage is owned faith - where the individual makes their faith their own; to the point of being willing to lay themselves down for their faith.

childrensministry.com blog

I was just reading the childrensministry.com blog and have to echo the comments of the last two posts about children and those who lead them.  The blog is responding to a church's emphasis and priorities for leading children in its advert for a Children's Minister.  It comments:

I read a job description for a Children's Minister recently that said the primary responsibility of the job is to develop "biblical literacy and Christian character" in children.  Of course, that made me wonder what biblical literacy is.  I'm sure it means different things to different people.

I love the Word of God...I've memorized it, read it, studied it, meditated on it, grappled with it, sought God through it! That needs to be established before I go on.

For this church, "biblical literacy and Christian character" never mentioned anything remotely close to knowing and loving God...or a personal, redemptive relationship with Jesus Christ...or an ongoing friendship with the Creator of the Universe. Nothing.  Is biblical literacy, then, the ability to find a verse in the Bible? Is it the ability to say all 66 books of the Bible in order?

It scares me when I see that the goal of a children's ministry is knowledge and not relationship....behavioral change and not relationship.  People today are longing for an experience with the living God! That needs to be the goal of children's ministry.

Lest I only come across as pointing out what's wrong, I'd like to celebrate something wonderful I saw in a job posting at churchstaffing.com.  Here's what this church is looking for in a Children's Ministry Director: Develop and lead an effective children's ministry that connects children and their families to Jesus, the church and to each other.  That's what I'm talking about!

That's what I'm talking about too!  It drives me crazy that so called bible believing churches think that the discipleship or nurture of children in the faith is about educating the brain with enough knowledge that they learn to behave like a Christian.  To train children to exhibit the right 'Christian character'.  What is that?  Is Christian character not that which emerges as we submit ourselves to the Lordship of Christ ... being refined by the Holy Spirit to emanate spiritual fruit?  Something which only comes from being in relationship with God?  My fear is that seemingly 'right behaviour' and talking 'Christian talk' is seen as a mark of mature 'Christian character', which is certainly not the case.  Filling our brain with information from the Bible does not an effective Christian make!!  It might help us to understand things better.  It might inspire us to look deeper into the things of the Word and guide us to seek first the kingdom but ... Satan himself can recite Scripture passage after passage - even to the Lord Jesus himself!  If that's what we want to pass on to our kids then we're seriously having a laugh!  There's far too much emphasis put on talking the talk.  Our faith is about being in relationship with God, which is outworked in relationship with one another too.  It's the 'walking the walk' that we need to model with children and help them in their relationship, so YES ... any children's minister must first be committed to 'developing and leading an effective children's ministry that connects children and their families to Jesus, the church and to each other'.  Otherwise we do nothing more than dispense data and demand right performance ... a bit too Stepford like to me!!! 

I read a job description for a Children's Minister recently that said the primary responsibility of the job is to develop "biblical literacy and Christian character" in children.  Of course, that made me wonder what biblical literacy is.  I'm sure it means different things to different people.

I love the Word of God...I've memorized it, read it, studied it, meditated on it, grappled with it, sought God through it! That needs to be established before I go on.

For this church, "biblical literacy and Christian character" never mentioned anything remotely close to knowing and loving God...or a personal, redemptive relationship with Jesus Christ...or an ongoing friendship with the Creator of the Universe. Nothing.  Is biblical literacy, then, the ability to find a verse in the Bible? Is it the ability to say all 66 books of the Bible in order?

It scares me when I see that the goal of a children's ministry is knowledge and not relationship....behavioral change and not relationship.  People today are longing for an experience with the living God! That needs to be the goal of children's ministry.

Lest I only come across as pointing out what's wrong, I'd like to celebrate something wonderful I saw in a job posting at churchstaffing.com.  Here's what this church is looking for in a Children's Ministry Director: Develop and lead an effective children's ministry that connects children and their families to Jesus, the church and to each other.  That's what I'm talking about!

That's what I'm talking about too!  It drives me crazy that so called bible believing churches think that the discipleship or nurture of children in the faith is about educating the brain with enough knowledge that they learn to behave like a Christian.  To train children to exhibit the right 'Christian character'.  What is that?  Is Christian character not that which emerges as we submit ourselves to the Lordship of Christ ... being refined by the Holy Spirit to emanate spiritual fruit?  Something which only comes from being in relationship with God?  My fear is that seemingly 'right behaviour' and talking 'Christian talk' is seen as a mark of mature 'Christian character', which is certainly not the case.  Filling our brain with information from the Bible does not an effective Christian make!!  It might help us to understand things better.  It might inspire us to look deeper into the things of the Word and guide us to seek first the kingdom but ... Satan himself can recite Scripture passage after passage - even to the Lord Jesus himself!  If that's what we want to pass on to our kids then we're seriously having a laugh!  There's far too much emphasis put on talking the talk.  Our faith is about being in relationship with God, which is outworked in relationship with one another too.  It's the 'walking the walk' that we need to model with children and help them in their relationship, so YES ... any children's minister must first be committed to 'developing and leading an effective children's ministry that connects children and their families to Jesus, the church and to each other'.  Otherwise we do nothing more than dispense data and demand right performance ... a bit too Stepford like to me!!! 

Best Hour...

So I've just finished reading the first three chapters of the book "Making your children's ministry the best hour of every kid's week".  To be honest, I was put off with the introduction but I'm pleased I persevered.  The intro spoke of 'salvation weekends' and the focus on 'saying a salvation prayer' so children can start to have a relationship with Jesus.  What about the relationship before the prayer?  Was God at work?  If so in what way?  Did children think they had a relationship with Jesus before 'saying the prayer'?  And where in scripture does it say anything about a salvation prayer?  Does God not know our heart?  Is it we, adults, who try to impose an appropriate measure by which to judge someones motives, desires and commitment to submit to the Lord and follow His ways?  Do children need to verbalise their understanding of sin, atonement, forgiveness, reconciliation, etc in order to be in? ............  It throws up too many questions and I really can't buy in to the fact that our focus on children's ministry, or any ministry for that matter, is one hour on a Sunday.  It may be a major focus in a church that has so many people attending on a Sunday but what about midweek cell groups, fellowship groups, social action groups, schools groups, visitation groups, discipleship groups, explorers groups, 1-1 mentoring, etc, etc, etc?  All areas of ministry are important, and while what we do as a corporate group is key when we have an open opportunity to welcome people in to our gathering and tease out something of our own faith, testimony and relationship with God and with others, an hour on a Sunday should not be the primary focus for our evangelistic or discipleship efforts.  Personally, moments of transformation for me don't come in a 'church' situation.  1-1 conversations, prayer ministry, conferences, worship events and academic study have all impacted me - but mostly it's two things:- my desire to earnestly pursue a deeper experience of God and the accountability I share in my walk with those wha are closest to me. 

Children's ministry IS NOT an hour in a child's week!!!  However, when we do have the privilege in meeting children for an hour, two hours or whatever in a week, whether on a Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, or any day, or in a church building, homes, schools or community centres, it should be an awesome time where God is powerfully at work and where children can be facilitated by envisioned, inspired, creative, energetic and passionate leaders who want more than anything to see God working in and through them and the children they are regularly in contact with.  And that ... is what the book goes on to talk about.  It talks of how ministry was birthed, developed, overcame obstacles, and how ministry grew into and from a God given vision that leaders embraced and pursued.  It talks of communicating your vision, hitting problems with senior leaders who don't get it, recognising the difference that volunteers make when they are envisioned and enthusiastic and when they are disillusioned and burnt out. 

I talk to children's and youth workers up and down the country and burn out is a big issue.  Many years ago someone said to me, "Youth workers last 3 years and then they burn out".  This shouldn't be the case and I think this book speaks powerfully to the areas of grasping vision for your ministry and steering the body with you towards a mighty goal.  Part of that steering is communicating why children's ministry is so key to any local church - as well as nationally and internationally. 

I look forward to reading the next few chapters!

Can you judge a book by it's cover?

I've decided to bite the bullet and buy a book I said I'd never buy because of its title.  The book is 'Making your children's ministry the best hour of every kid's week', written by Willow Creek's Promiseland Director Sue Millar.  I don't like the title because it implies that children's ministry IS only an hour a week and that conjures up all issues for me.  What about kids who never come to church?  Is church about IN GRABBING or OUTREACHING, whether for kids or anyone!?!  For me, titles like this promote poor ecclesiology - don't care if it's a kids book or not.

That said, I think the contents of the book will do justice to the wonderful thing that is our 'gathered' expression of church for children and young people.  I'll let you know ...

My pastor gave me a lovely book for Christmas that I'm eager to start too.  It is called 'Renovation of the Heart in Daily Practice', by Dallas Willard and Jan Johnson. This book has 61 short chapters that I'm going to read over 61 days beginning 21st Feb.  I tend to ponder and analyse as I read and this book needs to be 'received' in that way so it'll be a daily discipline.  Each day has a 'daily experiment' and the introduction says, "To receive a book is to explore what is being said and to let the author take you on the bicycle ride of your life.  You take in all the scenery and let yourself be challenged.  You respond to God about what you've read.  When you receive a book in this way instead of just using it, it adds to your life".  Fantastic!  Cant wait.